i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
