When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
