My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
