At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
