You really coming over, don't trick.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Randomize
