TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
