? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
