Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
