I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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