If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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