he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
