apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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