its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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