Please, let me fuck your mom
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
