I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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