So drunk its hurt
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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