You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
