i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
