the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
