my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
