u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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