I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
