just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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