So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
