i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
