This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
There's always time for handjobs
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
