She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
