Pappa wants mamma naked
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
