i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
being pregnant is like rehab
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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