Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
