I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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