I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
