smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
