I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
