Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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