Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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