ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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