we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
