having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The ass gains better be worth it
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
