is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
