she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
