dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
