he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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