My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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