My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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