scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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