Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
