I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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