yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
