conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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