Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
