I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize