I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
