i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
how drunk are you?
Several
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
