I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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