Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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