I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
