WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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