I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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