Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
